Whoot Smackler Whoot
}} Whoot Smackler Whoot was a crazy, albeit lovable (to the general public) Khanz Penguin who somehow talked, conned, and schemed his way into singlehandedly overthrowing the High Penguin Confederacy. To this day, historians reference Smackler as "one of the greatest conquerers of yore", which angers the High Penguins to endless extents. He set up the Empire of Khanzem, and nearly took over the enitity of Antarctica. Officially, he was the Chief Mark of the Naughtzee, though he resented this title, and instead was called The "fU|-|r3Rzz!", which he deemed more appropriate than the HP title. Background Whoot was born near what is now Pengolia, to ethnic Khanz parents. During this time, the entire continent was controlled under the High Penguin Confederacy. His parents soon realized that Smackler was different. First off, the newly-hatched Whoot had white down feathers on his beak. His parents thought this would go away. Seven months after hatching, Whoot began to speak. In about a month after he cleared the Mwa Mwa penguin stage of speech, the chick proceeded into learning words. In a year and a half, he could say complete sentences. At the equivelent of two in a human, Whoot could speak in big (and often "made up") words, such as "Czechslovakia" (his parents always loved when he said that). At the equivalent of three in a human, he could speak fluent English. In his childhood, Whoot was like any other penguin (Khanz or not), playing with the then-abundent High Penguin population, as well as the Lesser-Penguins. The Confederacy dispersed its population evenly over the continent, so Whoot was never alone. ---- In a retirement home interview, the ancient Smackler could reacll his youth: : "Well, I was not always the *cough* pie-throwing kind of strategic warrior you youngins read about. When I was just a chick, I learned to throw... *wheeze* snowballs." ---- ...and throw he did. At the human equivalent of seven, Smackler was the most feared penguin in any snowball fight. Everyone wanted him on their team, despite looking different from the others, even different from other Khanz penguins. ---- Whoot also commented on his looks as a youth in the retirement home interview: : "I was always better-looking then most of the other whippersnappers out there. Though, even after I shed my down feathers, I never lost those white ones on my beak. I also am proud to state that I ended up growing real hair when I was older, not at all like those cheap wigs ya'll buy at that, that, *cough* non state-owned Gift Shop down the road!" :The elderly Whoot would normally reach from his wheelchair after finishing that statement, ripping off the nearest wigged penguin, smiling with old-person delight as they cried. It was very rare that he would grab a penguin with real hair. ---- Whoot had a happy childhood, mostly involving tossed snowballs, and later, pies. As he grew older, he realized more about the world around him. At the human equivalent of thirteen, he started to dislike the High Penguin rule. ---- In the interview: : When I was but a wee little penguin, I was blissfully unaware of the *cough* oppression that those Most High Noob-Faces held over the superior penguins; that's you and I, fellow penguins. :The other, young penguins would normally "ooh and aah" at Whoot's bold statement (even the new, modern generations knew the mythical High Penguins were better). If any High Penguin was ever in the crowd, they would normally scream punctuation marks and bitterly curse the elderly Khanz Penguin, often with inverted punctuation marks. :Whoot continued from there: : Anyway, I would waddle around, looking at the Noob-Face flags, buildings, public works, ect. Everything had some sort of picture or reference to the Noob-Faces on them! It was mad! ---- Even though it bothered Smackler, he dismissed the High Penguin images that surrounded him. At the human equivelent of thirteen and six months, he made a life-changing mistake. ---- Whoot can remember that day on any occasion: : That cold winter day changed my life. A parade was being held through my hometown. It was a parade of *cough* EVIL! Every two years, those snobbish Noob-Faces would ride in great splendor. First would be their Cheif Mark, then their army commander... followed by rows of soldiers, local state-kings, citizens, and for some reason, they always had some penguin named Joe Plumber, parading in the very back, throwing toilet paper to the chicks, waving a plunger like a sceptor, dressed in overalls with a fake mustchace... which the Noob-Faces apparently thought was the common penguin. :Whoot would then pause, letting everyone get the idea in, and continue. : I was kind of sick of being represented by a plumber in a jewel clad parade, so I tossed a snowball at the nearest Noob-Face. If I recall, it was a dark green penguin wearing a tacky crown with blue orbs... I can't quite remember his name... Anyway, I threw my snowball at the aforementioned penguin, Triskelle! That was his name! Yes. I threw it at Triskelle. He stopped the parade and looked staright at me... the last thing I can remember was a giant boisenberry pie coming at me. :When I woke up, programmer only knows what happened... all I knew was that a Noob-Face hit me with a pie, that Noob-Faces were annoying, that Noob-Faces ad pictures of themselves everywhere, and that they had swimming pools. Really nice swimming pools. As I lay *cough* in the snow, I knew exactly what I was going to do with my life... make history. *wheeze* ---- Whoot decided to master throwing pies, as he did with snowballs. As he grew older, he learned that bending a pie tin correctly made it curve, that throwing it like a Frisbee made it go farther, and that boisenberry was the stickiest. Small pies could be thrown overhanded and soar, big ones could not. He learned all about pie, what flavors, what sizes, where to get them dirt-cheap. By the time he was the human equivalent of twenty four, he was ready to "make history". He led a group of rebels to take down the HPC, but was stopped and thrown in jail. While in jail he wrote a book called "My Story' which serves a a memoir and had his oppinion on how bad High Penguins were. Eventually he was released from jail and tried to become popular to get a position in the government. ---- : You know what I did from there, youngins. I commenced justice upon the Noob-Faces, tackled their regime, and nearly freed the continent of the *cough* *wheeze* Noob-Face menace! Oh, in my prime, I was unstoppable! Untouchable! Willman Tabernaclemountain, I took his momma! Yes, and any Noob-Face that dare comes back to see me, I'll------........... :A nursing home assistent would come and lower his oxygen tank by then, causing him to fall asleep before he becomes hyper. ---- The rest, as they say, is history. Quotes Involvement He is now spending his Golden Years in Snowflake Valley Nursing Home, Club Penguin. Visiting hours are from 10:30 AM to 8:00 PM Penguin Standar, Monday-Friday. Anyone can meet the little dictator during that time. Whoot Smackler Whoot loves to tell that story over and over again. Trivia * Smackler, after decades of time, is actually well liked by the general public, and meeting a living historical figure is special. * However, the remaining High Penguins dispise the ancient autocrat, citing him as "destroying paridise", "driving them crazy", and basically "ruining Antarctica". * The HPs are stunned that anyone would like anyone from Khanzem, but as Triskelle (Whoot's greatest enemy) puts it... These generations know nothing about Khanzem, just what the books say. If I could do it all over again, I would have locked that little chick in jail, had I known what he would do to the High Penguins. I would gladly have thrown another pie. I regret nothing. * Smackler currently sits in a wheelchair, attached to an oxygen tank, in a large room with chairs (for visitation). He also has an authentic Khanzem Flag hanging in the back. * He is still crazy, and still calls High Penguins "Most High Noob-Faces". * Do you seriously need to know his parody? Look in the bulletin below then! * The Sapie Brothers call him a "Nazi". **Adding on, Mr. Unknown stated privately in a conversation with Alex12345a, saying that: He's that guy named Adolf Hitler!!! Seriously, I have seen these "Nazis" and the were like... so despising. I dunno why but I kinda like him. What we know now is that I will conquer everyone and the whole world! Face my power SWEEDEN! MAHAHAHAHA With that, Alex12345a left the conference room. * The Furry Flats made a song about him called Whoot Smackler Whoot Whoot * Speeddasher despises Whoot and is discusted that they give him medical treatment. He understands though and simply says, "If any knew that tyrant in his younger days, they'd know why I hate him. I request rutheless murderer be written on his tombstone." *Jake Lovesfish hates him and has kicked his butt before not once but 20 times. See also * Khanzem * Snowflake Valley Retirement Home * Triskelle * High Penguin Confederacy * Khanz Penguin * Neo-Naughtzee Category:Parodies Category:Penguins Category:Stories Category:Characters Category:Villains Category:High Penguin Haters Category:Neo-Naughtzee Category:Elders